Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Randomize
