This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
