Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
