i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
