If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
