Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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