I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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