I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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