Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
