conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Still dying that you shit outside
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
