I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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