We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
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He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
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I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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