i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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