omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
