i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
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So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
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I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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