so let's talk penis.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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