i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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