4 words: hood of his car
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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