as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
You can't special order awesome
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
she peed on how many people?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
