honey bunches of taint.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
