i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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