Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
