Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
