she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Just high enough for therapy.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
