Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
We named our party play list daddy issues
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
