We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
