So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
