Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
