Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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