Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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