So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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