At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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