how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
