He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I just pynch a tree in the face
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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