The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me i tasted like america
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize