he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
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And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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