He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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