it was like his penis was on wheels.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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