I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Randomize
