thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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