he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
