chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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