So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
