please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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