Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
