I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Randomize
