I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
