he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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