I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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