I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Drunk is not a location!
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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