so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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