Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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