This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
The adults are the big ones right?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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