No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
where are you?
Hypothermia
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
