Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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