"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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