It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Randomize
