apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
