Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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