well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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