Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
