I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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