do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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