Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
