I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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