Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
