Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
