i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
