the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
