i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
