everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
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