Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
