Capitaan dildo arrescate!
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
