i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
